Born Too Late
Sometimes I feel that I was born too late. I wasn't there when the world witnessed its youth lived up the term sex, drugs and rock n roll to the fullest like there's no tomorrow. When everything is fun, fun fun. When everyone loves each other, fucks each other, got high together. No money, no jobs, plenty weeds. All day party with mind-expanding discussions in between, reciting poems or listening too ones, while all your nerves system invaded by LSD. When late great writers roamed the media with their crazy, well-written thoughts.
I wasn't there. My father did. Which maybe was my sole envy for him.
Then again a decade or so later, when all the love seeped out to be replaced with anger, angst and drama queen-esque, when long hair dude was considered lame and the hippies have aged to the point where they no longer fitted to be called today's youth... punk rock is the new world's bastard son.
The British once again ruled the world and any youth seemed eager to be conquered. It was when extra 'violence' added to the sex, drugs and rock n roll shoutouts.
I wasn't there too.
All I have here, is all the remnant of the time that has passed. It is real, but only a legacy nonetheless. Damn, I wasn't old enough too when that Cobain dude invaded MTV.
My life is such subcultural shifts. I believe in subcultures. I embrace them as tools of which I perceive the world and vice versa as well as a mean by which I presented myself to society. I, and most of my generations, are the very byproduct of the subcultures, and none affect me most than that of the hippies and the punk rock's.
Hippies, yay!
Like any other of my generation, my journey goes backward. I have to dig up the past to justify my present. And by that, I mean going through the pile of old cassettes of my mother's and father's, scavenging their old magazines and novels (Google wasn't around too at that time) just to at least has a glimpse on what was it like back then.
I arrived at conclusion that despite the great achievements in all areas (musics, literature, arts, philosophies), the 60's and 70's generations has a serious lack of fashion tastes. I mean, in all his greatness, the golden-fabric wing-flap wardrobe Hendrix was using is really disgusting at the least. He'd still be the guitar-god without that silly outfit, wouldn't he? So, WTF?
I prefer the fashion taste of the early punk rockers. Boots, over-tight jeans, spikes and attitude. Being exposed to my old man's 60's n 70's musics and literature collections since my early years, by my 5th grade, I already become a hippies in principal--the drugs would have to wait several years later. It was such a late version of anachronism, anachronism in reverse. My fellow classmates was singing Michael Jackson's Black or White when I solemnly chanted Jai Guru Deva, Om. None of them even heard of The Beatles or Zeppelin or Janis or The Doors (the late greats of whom would affect my musical influence in later years). The idea of living an idyllic life, getting high all day (even though I haven't understand yet what that means) was so inviting for someone who always lazy to go to school.
Outcome The Wolves
By Rancid and Dookie by Green Day I listened to in my Junior High years were two albums that change my life forever. Suddenly my life filled with anger, discontention and need of achievements (of what, I never fully grasped till today). Nevermind by Nirvana was the third and the last agents of chaos that I allowed to interfere in my life. And so another journey began, a journey wasn't like the previous, is fully learning by living one.
Puberty was part of it all and it made everything so complicated...you couldn't even stand a broken heart without being a lil' bit suicidal. Recreational drugs were always in your nerves literally. You often lost your temper and memory in drinking stupor. The world was always seen fucked up. Hell, everyone's a fucked-up! The only fucked-up thing you failed to recognize was yourselves. Lols. Long story short, I wasn't the happy little hippies I used to be. The way I see things back then is that war is far more truthful than love, and that it is bullshit to become a pacifist because life is a series of never-ending conflicts whether that be wars or simply personal disagreement.
I learn myself to play guitar, play drums, learn to write (music, journal, whatever consists of words), I read more, drunk more. DIY, baby!
Yogyakarta, the city I lived in happened to be a perfect place for such blooming enthusiasms. In 1998, steadily and surely, punk rock become a redemption for many local youths. In 2000, it was hard not to see any street punk thrashed on every road junctions. Bootlegged tapes change hands, self-made silk-screened t-shirts were made and punk rock bands mushrooming in every gigs. Knowledge is power in every punk rock culture, so does having an influential band, with street-wise credibility. And so I joined Residivis as a drummer and started my journey as a band player. Most of the time, we only do the cover of Exploited and, later, Total Chaos. So there we were, playing songs that 16 years and half around the world earlier sung by Wattie Buchan. We played anywhere with band sets. In some gigs, we simply hijacked the stage. The only pay we ever received was Rp 25.000,00 which equal to 2,5 $ in today's rate. We were far from being great. In most gigs we were either too drunk to play or too lost to remember what to play and the crowds simply too drunk to notice. These phases marked my days in high school.
Later, a series of personal problem within the band must put it to an end right after we did some records of our own songs. Although no longer involved in any punk band ever since, I still closely related to Yogyakarta's punk scenes, mostly that of Wirobrajan and Realino. The former was in my neighborhood and the latter was a group of my college friends. So, it was kinda hard for me to put a stance when both scenes clashed in violence following some disputes (I never know what or why till today).
For the first time in my life, I began questioning something I hold fast to. I knew something like that would happen sooner or later. It would be easier to turn a blind eye, but I just couldn't. Although no life lost, it still felt bloody awful when your friends were getting pretty beaten up by your other friends and vice versa and there's nothing you can do about it. To act as an arbitraire was also impossible as it was wasting everyone's time, for it was the last thing both scenes needed (at that time). It was the music that first driven me to this, and not the street's politics. The latter are not doing well together.
It also happened that some groups of fucked-up, hypocrite, self-righteous, right-wings began to targeting the boys as their punch bag and sometimes to stab at (I have really bad experiences with them, having more in one ocassions really close from being stabbed alive. Fuck!).
So, I drawback. Isolating myself. I'm not that tough for that kind of shit, and no one can forced me to think or act otherwise. I left all the ruckus, the attitude, the fashion (start from my mohawk) but not entirely (the boots, way of thinking, way of perceiving things are still intact) because no one can ditch out punk rock completely.
Starting anew, I formed Beyond Any Recognition, an indie rock band in 2004. This, I projected as Velvet Underground's kind of punk rock instead of the fast, noisy one. We have made several records and hopefully can score an album or more.
How Is It Today?
Both subcultures are proven to be crucial for me to the point that without which my achievement would only be academical. Both taught me how to think, to behave, to claim a place in whatever social hierarchy and friend rings I belongs to now. Both have created a high place in my brain, a special place on which I can dig up various inspirations without fear of exhaustion, the very source of all achievement I made these far and those yet to come. This post being one of them. I'm sure as hell to be happy that however late I am, I still have connections to them, being part of it, still living it. In some way, both subcultures negated each other, mold it into a hybrid of sort into something I proudly call my way of life.
Sex, write and rock n roll!!! And ocassional alcohol....
Sometimes I feel that I was born too late. I wasn't there when the world witnessed its youth lived up the term sex, drugs and rock n roll to the fullest like there's no tomorrow. When everything is fun, fun fun. When everyone loves each other, fucks each other, got high together. No money, no jobs, plenty weeds. All day party with mind-expanding discussions in between, reciting poems or listening too ones, while all your nerves system invaded by LSD. When late great writers roamed the media with their crazy, well-written thoughts.
I wasn't there. My father did. Which maybe was my sole envy for him.
Then again a decade or so later, when all the love seeped out to be replaced with anger, angst and drama queen-esque, when long hair dude was considered lame and the hippies have aged to the point where they no longer fitted to be called today's youth... punk rock is the new world's bastard son.
The British once again ruled the world and any youth seemed eager to be conquered. It was when extra 'violence' added to the sex, drugs and rock n roll shoutouts.
I wasn't there too.
All I have here, is all the remnant of the time that has passed. It is real, but only a legacy nonetheless. Damn, I wasn't old enough too when that Cobain dude invaded MTV.
My life is such subcultural shifts. I believe in subcultures. I embrace them as tools of which I perceive the world and vice versa as well as a mean by which I presented myself to society. I, and most of my generations, are the very byproduct of the subcultures, and none affect me most than that of the hippies and the punk rock's.
Hippies, yay!
Like any other of my generation, my journey goes backward. I have to dig up the past to justify my present. And by that, I mean going through the pile of old cassettes of my mother's and father's, scavenging their old magazines and novels (Google wasn't around too at that time) just to at least has a glimpse on what was it like back then.
I arrived at conclusion that despite the great achievements in all areas (musics, literature, arts, philosophies), the 60's and 70's generations has a serious lack of fashion tastes. I mean, in all his greatness, the golden-fabric wing-flap wardrobe Hendrix was using is really disgusting at the least. He'd still be the guitar-god without that silly outfit, wouldn't he? So, WTF?
I prefer the fashion taste of the early punk rockers. Boots, over-tight jeans, spikes and attitude. Being exposed to my old man's 60's n 70's musics and literature collections since my early years, by my 5th grade, I already become a hippies in principal--the drugs would have to wait several years later. It was such a late version of anachronism, anachronism in reverse. My fellow classmates was singing Michael Jackson's Black or White when I solemnly chanted Jai Guru Deva, Om. None of them even heard of The Beatles or Zeppelin or Janis or The Doors (the late greats of whom would affect my musical influence in later years). The idea of living an idyllic life, getting high all day (even though I haven't understand yet what that means) was so inviting for someone who always lazy to go to school.
Outcome The Wolves
By Rancid and Dookie by Green Day I listened to in my Junior High years were two albums that change my life forever. Suddenly my life filled with anger, discontention and need of achievements (of what, I never fully grasped till today). Nevermind by Nirvana was the third and the last agents of chaos that I allowed to interfere in my life. And so another journey began, a journey wasn't like the previous, is fully learning by living one.
Puberty was part of it all and it made everything so complicated...you couldn't even stand a broken heart without being a lil' bit suicidal. Recreational drugs were always in your nerves literally. You often lost your temper and memory in drinking stupor. The world was always seen fucked up. Hell, everyone's a fucked-up! The only fucked-up thing you failed to recognize was yourselves. Lols. Long story short, I wasn't the happy little hippies I used to be. The way I see things back then is that war is far more truthful than love, and that it is bullshit to become a pacifist because life is a series of never-ending conflicts whether that be wars or simply personal disagreement.
I learn myself to play guitar, play drums, learn to write (music, journal, whatever consists of words), I read more, drunk more. DIY, baby!
Yogyakarta, the city I lived in happened to be a perfect place for such blooming enthusiasms. In 1998, steadily and surely, punk rock become a redemption for many local youths. In 2000, it was hard not to see any street punk thrashed on every road junctions. Bootlegged tapes change hands, self-made silk-screened t-shirts were made and punk rock bands mushrooming in every gigs. Knowledge is power in every punk rock culture, so does having an influential band, with street-wise credibility. And so I joined Residivis as a drummer and started my journey as a band player. Most of the time, we only do the cover of Exploited and, later, Total Chaos. So there we were, playing songs that 16 years and half around the world earlier sung by Wattie Buchan. We played anywhere with band sets. In some gigs, we simply hijacked the stage. The only pay we ever received was Rp 25.000,00 which equal to 2,5 $ in today's rate. We were far from being great. In most gigs we were either too drunk to play or too lost to remember what to play and the crowds simply too drunk to notice. These phases marked my days in high school.
Later, a series of personal problem within the band must put it to an end right after we did some records of our own songs. Although no longer involved in any punk band ever since, I still closely related to Yogyakarta's punk scenes, mostly that of Wirobrajan and Realino. The former was in my neighborhood and the latter was a group of my college friends. So, it was kinda hard for me to put a stance when both scenes clashed in violence following some disputes (I never know what or why till today).
For the first time in my life, I began questioning something I hold fast to. I knew something like that would happen sooner or later. It would be easier to turn a blind eye, but I just couldn't. Although no life lost, it still felt bloody awful when your friends were getting pretty beaten up by your other friends and vice versa and there's nothing you can do about it. To act as an arbitraire was also impossible as it was wasting everyone's time, for it was the last thing both scenes needed (at that time). It was the music that first driven me to this, and not the street's politics. The latter are not doing well together.
It also happened that some groups of fucked-up, hypocrite, self-righteous, right-wings began to targeting the boys as their punch bag and sometimes to stab at (I have really bad experiences with them, having more in one ocassions really close from being stabbed alive. Fuck!).
So, I drawback. Isolating myself. I'm not that tough for that kind of shit, and no one can forced me to think or act otherwise. I left all the ruckus, the attitude, the fashion (start from my mohawk) but not entirely (the boots, way of thinking, way of perceiving things are still intact) because no one can ditch out punk rock completely.
Starting anew, I formed Beyond Any Recognition, an indie rock band in 2004. This, I projected as Velvet Underground's kind of punk rock instead of the fast, noisy one. We have made several records and hopefully can score an album or more.
How Is It Today?
Both subcultures are proven to be crucial for me to the point that without which my achievement would only be academical. Both taught me how to think, to behave, to claim a place in whatever social hierarchy and friend rings I belongs to now. Both have created a high place in my brain, a special place on which I can dig up various inspirations without fear of exhaustion, the very source of all achievement I made these far and those yet to come. This post being one of them. I'm sure as hell to be happy that however late I am, I still have connections to them, being part of it, still living it. In some way, both subcultures negated each other, mold it into a hybrid of sort into something I proudly call my way of life.
Sex, write and rock n roll!!! And ocassional alcohol....
